Wednesday

Today was a though day. Even though I did pretty much nothing at home, I feel really tired because of the emotion I feel inside me. Its a mixed emotion. Its sad because I can't even explain to myself why I'm acting and feeling this way. I feel trapped. Not by the people around me, but by myself. I don't understand, why I don't understand me... Okay, I'm not making any sense any more. I hope I could talk, smile, laugh or even enjoy the rest of my time here... But... Sadly, I'm not. I know that everything that is happening to me now, is a result, or maybe even consequences, of the decisions that I made in the past... Why am I feeling like this?

I'm going to end by saying this... I might not know how to explain how I feel right now, but I believe that there is a reason for everything. I believe that there is a purpose for everything. Maybe this is part of growing up. Maybe, a way for me to learn something from. I don't know... I'm only 17... Even if I'm sure of some things... It might not matter... It just is...

abimere